i hate living in the past but sometimes there is just nothing in the future to live for

posting order came out todae, the title says it all i guess... my mum was telling me all wk long she had this dream the other mrg abt me going ocs... and thanks to caryn... i think her magic ward works! couldnt actually wake up in time to check the orders, until zw call me and say both he and ky going sispec, and when i got my order was i like.... kinda sad and happy... mixed feelings la

cos i noe im wont be joined at ocs by all my buddies, and 42 wks in ocs means i wont have time for many pple incl her... its the same kind of dilemma i face whole wk long, cos on 1 hand i noe its really a honour to be going there, plus the fact tat im the only guy from my platoon hu made it, makes it even sweeter... but i really cant bear the fact tat im gonna see less of my frens for 42 wks and her including... my tot is just really is a mess now... while many others will be jumping at joy, i really dunno if i shld call a celebration anot...

there're many things in my mind tat i want to tell her but i just cant bring myself to do it in front of her, probably knowing she might not give me a chance to finish the sentence... and i dunno if she'll ever come across this page anot, but i guess i just have to say it down here:

"i noe this frenship between us means alot to both of us, at least on my part i really cherished it. But unfortunately for me, the feeling i have for u has extend beyond tat of a pure frenship and its beyond my control.

i really meant to give u my blessing when u were seeing sergeant the other time. it might sound silly to u y i like u but was not gonna fight for u... becos i guess its more impt tat u find someone u really like and be with him then u be with someone hu likes u instead. I really envy him becos of the kind of attention and praises that u shower him with everytime we went out and i wish many time i was ur centre of attention. I'm sorry that things didnt work out between the 2 of u, but even so i could still tell tat u really like him alot and it hurts me to see u so troubled bout him start avoiding u or stop calling u... not tat im jealous but i just want to see u happy....

i must admit im really upset when u told me tat u only considered me good buddies and tat i'll alway be your good buddy, perhaps i'm really no where in the league of sergeant but its like u were prepared to give everyone else a chance except ur good buddy. i hope u noe tat i gave alot of tots into it before i actually confessed to u abt my feelings, even i feared tat a failed relationship will hurt the years of frenship between us. and i would rather lose out on a short term relationship than a life long buddy... but hu are we to say tat this is a sure failed relationship? í strongly believed tat if we're committed to something, it will surely be successful...

i dunno if this is the very reason tat is holding u back or wat but if it is i hope u would really give the both of us a chance to work something out... i mean if we dun try we nv noe rite? and if the horoscope are to be trusted, we are the perfect match for each other aint we?"

Posted at 12:58 pm by relac1corner
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yeah finally pop leh! i'm no longer recruit! just promoted to chao PRivATe! heh heh! and the posting order will be out roughly in 51-52 hrs time... i kept having this feeling i might end up in ocs, and my mum told me she dreamt of me in ocs, but i guess i just keep my fingers crossed this time... of cos its an honour if i do make it, but if not then im not gonna make too much noise becos only 2 wings are opened for intake...

and even though 1 of the sir have hinted on me going ocs, i wont want to think too much bout it la... after all too much have happen tat when i think somethings gonna end up mine, usually ends up nowhere in the end!

k....rewind abit to GP day itself, 3 fainted in the parade, all from my company and 1 from my platoon... and i'll nv forget the scene of how tat 1st guy fell... i guess probably in the most dramatic way possible... but i will nv forget the emotions tat ran thru me when we march into the parade sq for the 2nd, singing 'training to be soldiers'... i guess most of us felt the same la... and well i got abit of surprised after tat cos my parents hu werent suppose to go make it to the GP!
for all the GALS... too bad u wont noe how it feels.... for all guys i guess u all have felt it or will get the chance to feel it in the future (except pes c/e guys!)... i guess nothing feels better than having ur parents putting on ur jockey cap for u on GP! even if it meant disappointing someone else...

then the second surprise was that my best buddy came! not tat no one was coming in the 1st place, but becos she told me she couldnt make it on the mrg of the parade, and man i tell u... to use devastated to describe myself the moment i read the msg was really an understatement.... cos i was really was not feeling well the whole wk, and then all my bunk mate started to fall sick 1 by 1... on mon and tue i was so fucking worried i might catch the illness! thank god i didnt! and come wed i dont really give a fuck even if i had to do my RM with a 40^o fever... cos i was really determined to put on a show for her on thur.... to really pass out from bmt with pride.... then came tat msg on thur mrg... i almost cried when i saw tat msg! i really couldnt explain the kind of disappointment tat went thru me, so much so tat i felt i could just fall sick straight away and tell my pc "i'm sorry sir but i want to fall out from the parade!"

i threw the fone on....was it my bed or into my drawer....cant really remember.... to disappointed to remember la... then as i was walking out of my bunk... i notice the joy... the excitement on everyone's face tat i told myself... i cant spoil their show! yes my show was spoiled(at tat moment la) but i cant fall out and disrupt the arrangement and spoiled pple show... and well the rest was history of cos... parents showed up, best buddy showed up and of cos she showed up!

1st few day of blk leave was really great, chalet on fri, sunset bay on sat, even staying home on sun was a joy, and movies on mon... i mean how bad can it get when u're in the company of someone u like? but then it just went all wrong! very wrong! even as i sit here, typing out all this... i still dunno if i had done the rite thing... haiz dun feel like writing anymore! maybe later then continue la...

Posted at 07:23 am by relac1corner
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well the big week has finally arrived! 4 more days and im done! though i've been waiting for this day to months but nonetheless still feel damm sad that the journey must to to an end! looking back it was though enlistment day was just yesterday....

could roughly still remember the enlistment day itself, reported to bmt on my own when most pple had their family members with them, then the 1st instructor that i came to contact with -- SgT Soh... and the sleepless 1st few nites in tekong.... the 1st nitemare came on the nite we receive our rifle, got drilled and SCREWED upside down, left rite ctr by my then platoon SgT hu had ORDed! but then again if it were for him, i think platoon 2 will probably be good for nothing.....

then came the horrible 3 day range, avg 2.5-3.5 hrs of slp every nite... then there was field camp, all the shit abt being tactical, no lites at nite, combat ration, insects crawling at over ur body when u slp.... then there was the sitest, damm route marches tat went with it everyday, doubling from check pt to check pt, leopard crawling thru the thick vegetation... the journey was tough no doubt but it was definitely was memorable, the times when we push each other to the limit, helping each other the best we could! of cos there were assholes that i probably wont even bothered look at when i bump into them next time but there were also frens tat i wont forget tat soon.... and all the instructors hu generally been good to us, esp 2Lt Tommy and Chiu.....

comparing the me 4 mths ago and now, i guess the journey was rewarding, the not so fat me and the quite fit me now(hahaha!!), and there was the zero fighter bobo and the botak hu finally pass ippt! i think the only regret i have in bmt will probably be not being able to clear soc.....COS OF ALL THE STUPID RAIN!

Posted at 03:41 pm by relac1corner
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The whole world knows it except for her....... (~_~")

Posted at 06:18 pm by relac1corner
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whoa havent blog in quite awhile....a long while in fact! but then really dun have the mood to blog everywk becos i only get to spend that pathetic few hrs out of camp every wk......

got lotsa stuff to say but dun think i'll have the time to la..... but thank god most of my major events are already over.... m16 live range, field camp, sitest, basically left my trench digging, grenade live throw and then my 16&24 km march and i thru with bmt...... and hopefully i get into sispec or ocs....
i had a feeling i did pretty well in my sitest and now i just need to buck up on my ippt.......

sitest was fun thou it was fucking shagged lah.....more shagged than range or even field camp, cos my AA or asst assessor was fucking garang! made us double from station to station! ok just 6 more wks and i thru!! and its my bro's turn....hahahaha i pop on dec 2....he enlist on dec 8..... probably will be in poony's current coy...kilo...

"The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday" 3rd Sgt Erizemen

Posted at 03:36 am by relac1corner
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this horrible dream hit me, this mrg or maybe afternoon when i was in my slp...u cant really call it nightmare cos it didnt happen at nite! lol!! how lame!

k 'niway, i was deep in my slp when i woke up and realised it was 12.20pm on wed! yeah my enlistment day! and i was like shit!! wtf!!! im fucking 4 hrs late!! i was like kicking my way out of my bed (my bed was in such a mess, i really didnt noe wat happen the nite before) and yelling at my mum....demanding to noe y she didnt wake me up!! i was so fucking desperate that i think i was crying while washing up and thinking of wat to do next! cos seriously missing ur enlistment i think is not fun! and i was i think close to shitting in my pants when i really woke up from my "nitemare"! and guess the time? 12.18 pm!!!!

i hope this shit dun strike me tmr can liaoz! if not i'll really shit in my pants! k signed off for now... dunno wat to write liaoz! be back later in the evening!

Posted at 07:09 pm by relac1corner
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ok didnt keep my promise to blog everyday cos sat, sun both out enjoying myself for the last free wkend, but i guess its ok cos i think on one reads it anyway. in any case if anyone does, bobo apologise! saw off 1 of my best bro todae liaoz, in 34 hrs it'll be my turn! and then 40 hrs later will be my other bro's turn! lol! we shall reunite in tekong!

dun feel like doing anything, saying anything anymore, just want to slip away into peace and enjoy my last 34 hrs, so this will probably be my last post before sept the 4th (yeah~! tat's my 1st book out)....

i can probably imagine myself spending my precious last 34 hrs in the serenity of some parks or beaches with my gf, if i had 1 tat is! but since i dont, then i shall spend my last day and half in the company of my other beloved! my 34" sony tv sitting rite in my living rm! i'm gonna miss it man! no more cinemax, no more espn and starsport, no more axn! and hell no more discovery channel! ARGG!! dun think i can ever live without my tv!! or rather my starhub cabletv top!!

gonna sign off now.....swimming finals coming up in an hr! im actually damm lucky the swimming events are held 1st during the olympics... if not really gonna miss alot of actions...

Posted at 12:03 am by relac1corner
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it's 4.48pm in the afternoon and im still at home?! wtf am i doing at home when im due for ns in another 5 days! hmm normally i dun feel tat sian when im at home even for 5-6 days in a row but todae i just feel extreme sian even though i've been out for the past 6 days.... maybe its the pNs (Pre-Enlistment sydrome) kicking in!

Sydromes includes:
1) extreme sianness felt when staying at home doing zho bo lan-ing

2) feeling the need to do alot of things but little time to do so

3) always want to play, and enjoy but at the end of the day still feel
    sian and disillusioned after all kinds of entertainment

4) the urge to see alot of pple; going out with alot of pple becos u noe
    it might be ur last (touchwood!)

5) feel the urge to tell the oneS u love alot of things only to back off
    becos of the heavy responsibility tat comes with it

6) alway in search of good food becos u noe u gonna taste some of
    the suckiest food for quite a long time soon

7) regretting on alot of things u wish, u want and u shld do but nv did
    it

above are the few common sydromes associated with pNs, sydromes varies from person to person with other unusual sydromes felt too. Level of fatality ranges from extremely mild in most pple to extremely fatal in a few pple. Affects only males, age 18-23.

Posted at 04:55 pm by relac1corner
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my original title was something else....yeah original cos i originally wrote an entry but somehow smtg screw up with the ie and got hung! i try to sum up from the "old" draft cos i dun feel like thinking anymore...as i was saying im feeling fucking tired from a day of not stop shopping..... from getting my army stuff to getting 1 of my "love"! heh! but still im gonna blog abit and keep my promise from last nite.... so as not to let down any faithful readers of this poor bloggie! hahaha......

bought quite abit of army stuff at beach rd but then i later realised most of the stuff we've got would be issued while others i consider unimpt and will be issued, will not be issued! stuff like rifle cloth and lube oils for the rifle.....its really wtf! i mean the army expect us to get our own cloth and oil to clean the rifle?!!! so i guess tmr we'll probably be back to beach rd to get some real IMPT items! spend close to $160 todae and majority of it was splash on a pair of puma sneaker! i dont noe the model but i'll try to get a picture of it posted sometime soon for u guys to see.... i dont really bother myself with all the details and models like zw do really.... for me when i want to get a particular item..... it all goes down to how i feel and my affinity with it really.....if i want to get a shoe, then i'll start looking ard...shopping ard....and when i see a pair of shoe i like and if it falls within my budget then i'll sit down and have a try.... and if its nice and comfy then i'll just buy it...quite simple....no research just pure feeling for the item....typical cancerian i think.

k back to this proud acquirsition of mine...... actually i wasnt really on a lookout for a new pair of shoe cos of bmt and wateva la but this puma sneaker have been on my mind since i saw it 1 or 2 wks ago but then got put off by the "enormous" price tag! then when i saw it for the 1st time todae at peninsular, ky say i shld get it if i really like it but i had some reservations abt it cos of the price and also plus the fact that both he and zw gave me negative feedback abt it la..... then when we went qw, her "beauty" caught my attention again, this time round i gave up any bit of resolved left in me on "resisting" her, so after going ard asking from shop to shop i realised i wasnt gonna get it at any different price, so i settle for a pair at this shop where i got my tennis trainers yesterday....

sometimes i hope everything in life is as simple as tat, where u conquer it when u cant resist it... and make something yours if u really like it. but certain things are just meant to be complicated. i mean if i get the shoe liaoz, i dun wear it or dun have a chance to wear, her beauty will still be displayed on the feet of many others hu shares my sentiments abt it. but in this world there'll be some other things tat is 1 of its kind and if u acquire liaoz then just leave it on the shelf, it'll really be too selfish and its unfair to the item becos other pple deserve a chance to appreciate its beauty too...

Posted at 04:56 am by relac1corner
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my original title was something else....yeah original cos i originally wrote an entry but somehow smtg screw up with the ie and got hung! i try to sum up from the "old" draft cos i dun feel like thinking anymore...as i was saying im feeling fucking tired from a day of not stop shopping..... from getting my army stuff to getting 1 of my "love"! heh! but still im gonna blog abit and keep my promise from last nite.... so as not to let down any faithful readers of this poor bloggie! hahaha......

bought quite abit of army stuff at beach rd but then i later realised most of the stuff we've got would be issued while others i consider unimpt and will be issued, will not be issued! stuff like rifle cloth and lube oils for the rifle.....its really wtf! i mean the army expect us to get our own cloth and oil to clean the rifle?!!! so i guess tmr we'll probably be back to beach rd to get some real IMPT items! spend close to $160 todae and majority of it was splash on a pair of puma sneaker! i dont noe the model but i'll try to get a picture of it posted sometime soon for u guys to see.... i dont really bother myself with all the details and models like zw do really.... for me when i want to get a particular item..... it all goes down to how i feel and my affinity with it really.....if i want to get a shoe, then i'll start looking ard...shopping ard....and when i see a pair of shoe i like and if it falls within my budget then i'll sit down and have a try.... and if its nice and comfy then i'll just buy it...quite simple....no research just pure feeling for the item....typical cancerian i think.

k back to this proud acquirsition of mine...... actually i wasnt really on a lookout for a new pair of shoe cos of bmt and wateva la but this puma sneaker have been on my mind since i saw it 1 or 2 wks ago but then got put off by the "enormous" price tag! then when i saw it for the 1st time todae at peninsular, ky say i shld get it if i really like it but i had some reservations abt it cos of the price and also plus the fact that both he and zw gave me negative feedback abt it la..... then when we went qw, her "beauty" caught my attention again, this time round i gave up any bit of resolved left in me on "resisting" her, so after going ard asking from shop to shop i realised i wasnt gonna get it at any different price, so i settle for a pair at this shop where i got my tennis trainers yesterday....

sometimes i hope everything in life is as simple as tat, where u conquer it when u cant resist it... and make something yours if u really like it. but certain things are just meant to be complicated. i mean if i get the shoe liaoz, i dun wear it or dun have a chance to wear, her beauty will still be displayed on the feet of many others hu shares my sentiments abt it. but in this world there'll be some other things tat is 1 of its kind and if u acquire liaoz then just leave it on the shelf, it'll really be too selfish and its unfair to the item becos other pple deserve a chance to appreciate its beauty too...

Posted at 03:44 am by relac1corner
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